Waiting for the Dawn............

Night grows dark and I lay in my bed,
 broken and crushed by life's fate.
The feather soft quilt doesn;t comfort my soul,
eyes wide open; I search for my role.
The childhood that passed, left memories deep;
the smooth cozy life just turned steep.
Days pass by and memories fade,
Sun rises up and I search for a shade.
Engrossed in thoughts, I lost some light;
Darkness, my soul mate, was out of sight.
The sunshine outside my window seemed grey,
all I could do was watch in dismay.
I tried to make a move, but all was gone;
And I laid back Waiting for the Dawn !!

Lost in the Dark.....

Walking in the woods all feeble and pale,
the stones in the way took all my strength.
Dark was the sun and thirsty the clouds,
the silence of the night left me with a frown.
The wind that blew was harsh enough,
to leave me still and crave for the start.
The shrieks in the dark were scary and wild,
brawn and courage; way too mild.
Lost I was; too weak to be found,
scared and alone to make another round.
The night grew dark, darker grew my will
comforted by the silence of darkness and myth.
The sun that rose burnt my eyes,
stubborn I was to face the light.
The light was fake with another lie,
determined my soul to rest under the sky.
The sunshine faded, as the day grew long,
Forlon I was again without the song.

Just Thoughts......................

Its 4 a.m and I am still awake; as awake as the moon in the dark, gloomy sky. No ounce of sleep in my eyes, no lactic acid accumulation in my muscles, only the neurons too tired; tired of reasoning life, making choices, searching answers and trying to make sense out of every damn move my heart makes. I sit by the side of my window and try to think, think of the days when I wasn't this ; this girls who tries to reason every single thing . I look out of my window and try to locate the stars, its hazy outside I cant find any. This is what life has become "hazy"; every time I try to look for light, I see smoke. I am lost in the wilderness of thirst; thirst of having everything.
The days when only choices were between Rochers and Dairymilk are long gone; morals and needs are undoubtedly arduous. Love, sex, trust, ethics, needs, desperation, fame.................... choices that leave me baffled! How do I choose between my mind and heart? Why at all do I need to choose? Why can't I just go with my mood? Why do I need to answer my actions? Why??
Life has changed, and so have priorities. I don't get time to sit and think about me. I am too busy in setting things right, in making myself do right; but for whom ? For the people who don't care or for the ones who will just change their opinions the day I change. I am on a ship sailing alone for the waters that will engulf me the day I fall. Where have I come? Why did I grow up? does growing up only means complexities, pain, explanations? The choices between blue and pink were easy than between ethics and wants. The sky turns red; its the sun that has brightened the night. But why doesn't my heart see any change? I still wanna sit in the dark and figure out the colors of my life that have drastically fainted. Is my body overruling the warmth of my soul or is it just the people whom I meet are wrong ? Why can't they see what is inside me ? Why do they just have to linger on the curves that show ? Am I still lost in the good old days or has the world moved on very fast? Questions, questions and questions, all without answers . The day may come and spread its light but again it will be the night that rules; may be until the day I paint my world again or the world sees my colors right !!

I am waiting........

I am waiting for the one who would come and hold my hand, the one by me who would always stand. No white horses, no prince charming; Only the one who will call me his darling. I am waiting for the who would pamper the child in me, the one who would happily sit and watch me glee. No diamond rings, no luxury cars; Only the one who would lay beside me and watch the stars. I am waiting for the one who would patiently hear me out, the one who would smile whenever I shout. No big promises, no big swears; Only the one who would sincerely care. I am waiting for the one who would wipe off my tears, the one who would help me conquer all my fears. No red roses,no love cards; Only the one who would understand when I thwart. I am waiting for the one who would watch me sleep, the one who would bring to life my every dream. No candle light dinners, no late night pub; Only the one who would believe in me and would never snub !!

THE LAST ENVELOPE !!

Sealed with love and a little love tack,
the color wasn't pink; but it was black .
All was calm and just too dark,
that deadly Thursday ripped out my heart.
With peeled eyes when I was longing for a bright star,
it appeared as Euthycia but took away all the spark !

"Don't drop those pearls", so neatly he wrote,
restraining was hard and in tears I broke.
"I'll have to go, we'll have to stay apart",
words too simple but understanding them was hard.
"I'll never find a gem like you, but a new life we'll have to start",
muddled, perplexed, baffled ; I just wanted to thwart.

That Last Envelope from you tore me apart,
I kept yearning to reach the start.
"Don't ask me why I am leaving you in the dark",
with wet eyes I kept hankering for the past.
"It's a BYE from me, stay away as life with me harsh",
take me along I won't utter a word even if it's a marsh .

I yelled, I cried, I shouted so hard,
Don't go baby without you it's all so dark.
I kept craving for you on a murky deck,
pleading for you to come back.
But it was all and you had gone,
and I sank with the dusk without any hopes for another dawn !!

That Brutal Stake :(

Its six in the morning and I am still awake,
wondering why you drove through my heart that stake ??
That stake of pain ,that stake of betrayal,
that stake which took away every pearl !!

I try to sleep with that pain in my heart,
but every move I make brings me to the start.
I close my eyes and find you there,
light all around no darkness no fear .
Those were the days of joys and life,
when once you promised to make me your wife .
You filled in my eyes the dreams of love,
which drove me crazy and you mastered the bluff !!

The sun has started to light the sky,
but here I am; in the dark no shoulder to cry.
In a moment or two there will be hustle all around,
but the silence of my heart will always be profound.
Fate has led me to the crossroads of grief,
no matter what I sow , nothing will I reap.
With open eyes I roll back in the past,
where every word u said was supposed to last.
The promises faded away with the blow of wind,
all I am left with is a world of myth !!

I wanna lay in the bed and fall asleep,
but these noises in the street wouldn't let me dream.
A journey to the past I make every night,
digging deep into the dark with no glimpse of light.
All night and day I try to figure out why,
why these tears in my eyes why do you have to lie ??

Its six in the morning and I am still awake,
wondering why you drove through my heart that stake ???

I want u to get dwn on ur knees n xpres ur luv,
n make me feel the passion so strong enuf;
to drive me crazy n make me believe,
tht the magic of love do exist !

Sit beside me wen silence grow,
listen to mah heartbeat n tel me u know;
hold my hand n make me believe ,
dat the magic of luv do exist!!

Make me laugh wen tears roll down,
make me ur princess n ur luv mah crown;
take me to ur kingdm n make me believe,
dat the magic of love do exist !!!

Kiss me in the rain when i say no,
hold me tight in ur arms wen I try to go;
Look deep into mah eyes n make me believe,
dat the magic of love do exist !!!!

Take me to the wrld tht is our own,
whr thr r only smiles n nthng to mourn;
Grow old with me n make me believe,
dat the magic of love do exist !!
♥ ♥ ♥

The real me .........

Surrounded by souls I feel relieved,
I am tired of being alone.
The loneliness drags me into the past,
the forlornness interrogates my soul.
The flashing moments of the past threat my soul,
My heart feels the tip of the sword.
Smile and laughter are my mighty weapons,
they shield me from the thunders on the shaft.
Roaming around and chattering mouth,
Keeps me away from the thoughts of the past.
With people around I feel so safe,
they don't care for me but life seems to end fast !
They think I am happy in the lap of comforts,
but the unrest and pain they don't see.
Colorful glares I put on my eyes,
and the world stays amazed to see me glee.
The emotions in me keep dying each day,
but I wear a smile to showcase.
They think I am arrogant they take me proud,
I keep them amused and feel the bitter taste.
I am scared of the mysteries the darkness holds,
but the mere thought of dreams keeps me awake.
People find me smiling and chirpy,
but life, without you, seems to be on a break  !!

I am Lost !

I am lost
I stand before the mirror n luk at mahslf frm head to toe,
lethargic, dull and feeble is wht the mirror shows .
I roll my eyes to find myslf,
but find a gloomy shade crying for help.
I lost myself years back,
when u left me alone in sorrow's lap.

Those beautiful kohl eyes,u loved, have lost their spark;
they keep craving for some light in the dark.
The shimmer of those smiling lips is lost,
without you sweetheart life is on a pause.

That glowy face has lost its shine,
deep down somewhere i even fear to smile.
My hands also now tremble with fear,
I try to run away from every affectionate word I hear !

Those confident feet have lost their pace,
even in the beautiful rains my heart now aches.
The image in the mirror is not mine,
the sweetness of my face is lost in brine.

My heart throbs when I look in the mirror,
the lamp of my life also seem to flicker.
Your love was my shade in scorching heat,
but the asperity of your nature has made me weep.
I wish i could find myself someday,
and for that moment i kneel down and pray !