Its 4 a.m and I am still awake; as awake as the moon in the dark, gloomy sky. No ounce of sleep in my eyes, no lactic acid accumulation in my muscles, only the neurons too tired; tired of reasoning life, making choices, searching answers and trying to make sense out of every damn move my heart makes. I sit by the side of my window and try to think, think of the days when I wasn't this ; this girls who tries to reason every single thing . I look out of my window and try to locate the stars, its hazy outside I cant find any. This is what life has become "hazy"; every time I try to look for light, I see smoke. I am lost in the wilderness of thirst; thirst of having everything.
The days when only choices were between Rochers and Dairymilk are long gone; morals and needs are undoubtedly arduous. Love, sex, trust, ethics, needs, desperation, fame.................... choices that leave me baffled! How do I choose between my mind and heart? Why at all do I need to choose? Why can't I just go with my mood? Why do I need to answer my actions? Why??
Life has changed, and so have priorities. I don't get time to sit and think about me. I am too busy in setting things right, in making myself do right; but for whom ? For the people who don't care or for the ones who will just change their opinions the day I change. I am on a ship sailing alone for the waters that will engulf me the day I fall. Where have I come? Why did I grow up? does growing up only means complexities, pain, explanations? The choices between blue and pink were easy than between ethics and wants. The sky turns red; its the sun that has brightened the night. But why doesn't my heart see any change? I still wanna sit in the dark and figure out the colors of my life that have drastically fainted. Is my body overruling the warmth of my soul or is it just the people whom I meet are wrong ? Why can't they see what is inside me ? Why do they just have to linger on the curves that show ? Am I still lost in the good old days or has the world moved on very fast? Questions, questions and questions, all without answers . The day may come and spread its light but again it will be the night that rules; may be until the day I paint my world again or the world sees my colors right !!
The days when only choices were between Rochers and Dairymilk are long gone; morals and needs are undoubtedly arduous. Love, sex, trust, ethics, needs, desperation, fame.................... choices that leave me baffled! How do I choose between my mind and heart? Why at all do I need to choose? Why can't I just go with my mood? Why do I need to answer my actions? Why??
Life has changed, and so have priorities. I don't get time to sit and think about me. I am too busy in setting things right, in making myself do right; but for whom ? For the people who don't care or for the ones who will just change their opinions the day I change. I am on a ship sailing alone for the waters that will engulf me the day I fall. Where have I come? Why did I grow up? does growing up only means complexities, pain, explanations? The choices between blue and pink were easy than between ethics and wants. The sky turns red; its the sun that has brightened the night. But why doesn't my heart see any change? I still wanna sit in the dark and figure out the colors of my life that have drastically fainted. Is my body overruling the warmth of my soul or is it just the people whom I meet are wrong ? Why can't they see what is inside me ? Why do they just have to linger on the curves that show ? Am I still lost in the good old days or has the world moved on very fast? Questions, questions and questions, all without answers . The day may come and spread its light but again it will be the night that rules; may be until the day I paint my world again or the world sees my colors right !!
